Postpartum Depression

This is going to be a short post, but I just wanted to share my thoughts and feelings of my first two weeks postpartum...

Depression.

Is it real?

From personal experience... YES! and you're not alone.

I started crying day two in the hospital for many different reasons. Yes, very early, but it was my first pregnancy, first baby, first everything. I wasn't really sure, at all, what to expect from anything. It was all SO new. It wasn't until getting home and after researching that I realized I was going through postpartum depression. PP Depression starts at different times and lasts differently for everyone. Mine started day two and went on for the first two weeks of my baby's life. I can honestly say it was so rough.

Everything made me cry and I had the mindset that I couldn't care for my newborn because I was having such a hard time breastfeeding at first and the recovery process from laboring/c-section is limiting at the very beginning. That's right...both. I labored for 3 hours, pushed for (I think) 45 minutes, then had a c-section so I experienced the whole shebang involved with childbirth. Plus, somehow I tore my uterus. I'm still recovering and experiencing pain having to take Ibuprofen every 6 hours and limited to sleeping on my back in a recliner chair.

The crying, I think, has stopped. I mean, it's been a week since I shed a tear that was related to the baby or being a new mom so I'm hoping that phase is over. The main reason behind the two weeks of tears was lack of sleep and trying not to give my girl formula. I realize now there's absolutely nothing wrong with supplementing and it took me two weeks of NO sleep, breastfeeding for literally hours because she just couldn't get enough, to figure that out. For any first time mommy going through this I can definitely tell you that it gets easier. Every day is easier in terms of breastfeeding, figuring out juggling housework and taking care of a 3 week old, and the pain is much more tolerable.

Don't let PP Depression scare you. It's a very difficult, but very normal part of the journey that many women experience. Talk to people. Reach out. This isn't the part that you have to do alone or even with just your SO. My friends and family have helped so much in making me realize that everything I was feeling was 100% normal. We are superwomen!